Recently, I was speaking with someone about task lists. Since it was more of a lamenting conversation, I asked her, “Does your task list serve you well?” Based on her response, it was clear to me that it did not. Oftentimes, our task lists are like mean bosses. Some of the words that come to mind include relentless, full of busy work, and no grace.
But, what is the alternative?
The day after I had this conversation, I was walking with my little one and listening to a talk where the priest outlined a concept called “J.O.Y.” Joy is one of my core values, so I was all ears. The approach he shared was “Jesus, then Others, then Yourself.”
I stopped in my tracks for a moment and contemplated this. Surely this isn’t always true. Sometimes I need to put myself first, right? But then I looked at my life over the past six months. [I wrote about this a little bit in “Choosing Beauty.”] Something big had changed, and I looked to see what was different and how this might align with this concept of J.O.Y.
For months now, my little one and I begin our day in relative quiet. He enjoys playing and gives me a little time to work on a bible study. Of course, this is peppered with spontaneous dancing, tickles, and songs. But somehow, each day, I get to greet God in the morning and allow time for Him to whisper into my day.
On most mornings, at some point, I let God know that I am willing to serve Him during the course of that day. Sometimes, I include a little monologue about how even a baby can serve God with smiles, and on so many days, he does. Then, we head out on our walk and listen to bible readings, uplifting music, and inspirational kids podcasts.
Even as I’m writing this, it seems a little excessive, but this schedule has given a cadence to my day that is free of anxiety (most of the time) and rich with energy – necessary when starting a business and raising a 10-month-old little boy. My heart is then open and ready to listen to direction as to how I can serve my geographical and Positive Doing communities well.
First and foremost, my role is “mommy,” although it’s usually pronounced “maaamaaamamamamama” right now. If God wants me to serve others, then I put that time in His hands. More often than not, the time appears in my son’s longer-than-usual nap. For more time than I would like to admit, I struggled when an unplanned task would come up for another parent or friend during these luxurious nap moments. This all changed when I suddenly realised opportunities bloom during these snippets of time to learn how to love and serve others better.
The pandemic has forced us to consider how we have served others prior and were challenged in this endeavor. We don’t hurry past someone who might be living alone anymore. We look for ways to engage with them and their situations and find even the smallest of ways to be helpful.
This is when “Y” is supposed to come in, right? But upon contemplation, I realized the power of this approach. When I begin with Jesus and Others, I find myself filled with the energy I used to think I could only receive when I was focused on me. Not surprisingly, a lot of those things I used to do for me fell away, which then created more space for Jesus and Others.
A few questions to get you started with J.O.Y.:
How are your task lists serving you?
What would you like to experience each day?
How do you incorporate “J” into your day?
How do you serve others well?
What gives you the most fulfillment?
How might J.O.Y. give you more margin?