This week, my priest told me something that shifted my thoughts on healing.
When there is a case open for someone’s sainthood, there is a requirement that at least three miracles are documented at the intercession of that person. What I didn’t know about this process, however, is that the investigators are often looking for evidence not just of the miracle but also that the ailment/disease existed.
For instance, they aren’t looking for someone only documented by medical professionals as having had TB—they want to see the scars showing that they actually did have it. Even in this incredibly detailed sense, we are not called to live as if an ailment did not happen—we’re called to embrace it and live boldly with the miracle of healing.
Despite the doctor’s best efforts, I am left with a sizable scar from last year’s melanoma on my forehead. It acts as a reminder of the great gift of healing, thanks to early detection. It also reminds me of all the personal shifts I needed to go to during that challenging time.
The more I walk this path of grief, the more I discover the objective is not to return to what was—but to heal and accept scars as trophies of a battle won.
Grief is healing. The time of grief is a time of healing.
Experiencing a great loss is like an earthquake. Every part of your life is affected:
Mentally
Emotionally
Relationally
Spiritually
Psychologically
Each element of my existence needed/needs to go through a time of deep healing. None of it will go back to the way it was. Friendships, for instance, will often take on a greater depth after a time of deep suffering. My relationship with God was forever changed when I was forced to confront where God was in my moments of deep distress.
True healing during a time of grief is allowing for the shift to take place and rebuild after seismic activity. Being completely healed doesn’t mean that the scars don’t exist.
What areas of your life have been shaken and broken by a deep loss? What do you wish would just go back to the way it was? What might actually be better, in your life, if you heal with scars?