I had the strangest experience last Sunday, and I haven’t yet been able to shake it. My little one was tackling a part of the playground he hadn’t yet conquered. As he usually does with challenges, he was giving it his all. A little boy came over, a little older than him, and started doing the same activity, then he began to cry. His dad came over and said, quite matter-of-factly, “I don’t know why he is fearful of this. He loves horror movies!”
We spoke for a little bit, and what I came to understand was his logic: If the little boy experiences fear-filled things, it should minimize his fear in other situations. I don’t think I would have given this much thought, except for a conversation I had with a new, dear friend about something similar.
This might be an extreme example, but it doesn’t seem unique. Our culture seems to have a fascination with death, horror, and the grotesque. At the core, there is fascination and perhaps a desire for some desensitization.
For my friends and clients who face the death of a loved one or, perhaps, are facing death themselves, no amount of desensitization will take away the fear of death.
In times like this, people often reference St Paul’s passage in 1 Corinthians 15: “Oh death where is thy sting.” As he was writing this, he was anticipating his death by beheading and, almost daily, was hearing of the death of the Christians in Rome.
With most of the people I walk with on their journey of grief, the benefit is equally in knowing what Christ has done in conquering death and what Christ is doing as we face the unimaginable pains of life. Paul’s passage unpacks beautifully what we can expect to experience, but what about here and now?
The answer seems to be in a conversation I have frequently with my 3-year-old based on Galatians 2:20: “… it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” I can quite easily explain how Christ living in us can help us forgive the unforgivable and love the unlovable. What I didn’t anticipate was how Christ living in us can also make us fearless. Christ, having experienced horror and death, aids us in fighting fear in what we are experiencing right now.
In a time of prayer this week, I was preparing for a particularly difficult day. When I sat and asked for some Holy Spirit wisdom, the response was, “I’m not just giving you provisions for the road, Johanna. I’m walking every step of today with you.” We receive the gifts God has for us in the here-and-now. I can walk throughout a day and be completely frustrated and suddenly remember prayer is available to me in that moment. What a relief.
This world is filled with horrific, grotesque things. We don’t need more than what trials and pain we already have on our plate. God is calling you into something more:
- Keep excess of the grotesque at a distance.
- Hold deep compassion for those experiencing the truly horrific.
- Allow yourself to feel the pains of the trials you are experiencing.
- Have compassion for yourself as you experience the horrors of this life.
- Grieve intentionally by allowing for Christ to walk with you.
- Receive the benefit of God’s love in your life.
What do you fear the most? What relieves your fear the most? Do you need to conquer a future fear or what you’re experiencing right now?