Two and a half weeks ago, I began my master’s. It’s a big undertaking for anyone, but it’s an extraordinarily heavy lift for a single mom who’s also attempting (and so far succeeding) to cover the cost with my grief coaching clients. I’ve realized—fairly quickly—that my normal approach to life would not cut it. I’m being called into something else.
The words I keep uttering are, “Give me today my daily bread,” but the context feels different. Usually, I have (or think I have) some sort of control over my finances, time, and outcomes. Now, I have knowingly put myself into a situation where almost nothing feels like it’s under my control.
I’ve come to realize this state of faith and uncertainty feels a lot like what my clients face. They wake up one day and nothing is familiar. They need to choose a new way of living in a world that is different from what they remember but need to apply new wisdom.
For a long time, I’ve known God is calling me into a deeper trust. I don’t think I’ve ever really entrusted myself to anyone fully. I know I can’t possibly get through this season relying on my own strengths. This is a big part of my continued healing, and I know God wants me to take steps toward this new way of living.
We can either choose to be put in a place where we need to trust God or, often, life will deliver us to that place. When we find ourselves in that place of loss, there seem to be three major outcomes:
- Disbelief/denial
- Being sucked into a vacuum of grief (including anger, guilt, and resentment)
- Trusting God and surrendering the outcome
For some reason, I’ve always thought about daily bread as something I receive—as provisions. I imagine myself walking down the road with just enough to go a little farther. What I see is that I can even offer up what I don’t have. In that act of surrender, there is beauty, confidence, and victory.
Here is a simple example: This week, I went to the county fair with my little one. We’re on a pretty tight budget, so after tickets, I told him, “Okay, we’ve got $20 for rides and a treat.” If you’ve been to a fair recently, you’ll know that $20 doesn’t get you very far. After surveying the rides, the pick was bumper cars. After our first ride, the operator came over and told us to stay for a second ride. I had no idea why. He didn’t know our circumstances. So we thanked God and enjoyed the second turn even more than the first. A few minutes later, we realized we were two tickets short of another ride, so I made the call to extend our budget by a few dollars. As we were at the ticket booth, an out-of-breath woman ran up to us and said, “I’m leaving. Please, will you take these tickets?” She handed us $40 worth of tickets.
What an incredible lesson for both me and the little one. We were living boldly in our circumstances. We weren’t pouting, shaking our fists, or throwing tantrums that we couldn’t live large or past our means (me or the four-year-old).
Instead, we knew what we had, and we thanked God for it. Then, before our eyes, it all seemed to multiply. This, then, increased our gratitude and opportunities to rejoice.
The attitude of daily bread seems to be, “God, this is what I have. It’s all yours. Do with it what you will.”
Here are three questions as you contemplate your daily bread:
- What are you trusting in God for today?
- What is your attitude about a major loss you are facing?
- How do you want to experience a difficult life circumstance?