I often get pushback from clients when they complete my intake forms: “I thought you were a grief coach, why are you asking me so much about my life and dreams?”
The answer is clear: No matter what you believe right now, you are not your grief.
When we are in the midst of grief, we can often only see the thing we have lost. Often people are really just looking for a few simple grief activities.
Is it strange that I’m constantly surprised by the power of the work I get to do?
John 10:10 says:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
This is not a spiritual platitude—this is a truth. In Christ, life is abundant. Walking with Him in our grief makes life abundant possible.
He went into the depth so that we can have the heights of beauty, joy, and life.
Finding balance between life and loss comes with intentional action. It sounds counter-productive, but choosing to grieve—deeply—gives us extraordinary access to choosing life.
How is this possible?
Intentional grieving looks like:
-Creating spaces of memorial
-Choosing to focus on the hardest parts
-Asking God the hard questions (focusing on the how and what)
-Facing where the pain is showing up in your life
-Discussing the guilt (one of the biggest obstacles)
-Uncovering the roots of worry and anxiousness
Intentionally living (in times of grief) looks like:
-Consistent reminders of life beyond grief
-Sharing and speaking gratitude
-Filling time voids with new activities
-Connecting with people
-Consistently exercising
-Reminding yourself of the joy-giving things you did before the loss
What does your balance feel like today? If you’re weighed down by grief, what does it look like when you choose life today? If you’re ignoring your grief, what is one way you can intentionally grieve?