Praying the Psalms is a beautiful, intentional activity in the darkest moments of grief.
There is something about the seemingly erratic nature of the authors’ emotions. As I was praying through the Psalms and writing recently, I felt a prompting to write my own:
I’m am downhearted
No matter how much I do, I seem to step backwards
I’m like a mountain climber being blown off a cliff by a mighty wind
I fall towards peril and there is no net to save me
Are you there?
You extend your hand and I grasp on
I cling to you for dear life
Each day you save me
As I began reflecting on the nature of the Psalms and the exercise of writing my own, I saw how closely they follow the road of grief it seems God calls us into.
There are a few elements of my Psalms that bring me to seeing this deep connection with pain and love. And when I went back to look at other Psalms, I saw that there’s a real connection between what was and what will be.
Step 1: Cry Out
First and foremost, Psalms start out, often beautifully, with exactly where the author is emotionally and sometimes physically. I think of, “I’m frail,” or “My bones suffer moral agony,” or “my soul is in deep anguish.” There is no fear in expressing the depth of suffering—sometimes to the point of it sounding erratic.
As I mentioned recently, I’m often too quick to add a silver lining to a tough situation and try to simply move on. In these cases, I’m often haunted by grief for much longer than what it would look like if I faced my troubles head-on because I have not dealt with the depth of emotion tied to the experience. By putting words to whatever deep emotion I’m experiencing, I can give it a voice and be able to move past it—or at least understand it better.
Step 2: Ask
Next, it often seems like David is especially a pro at calling to God and saying exactly what he needs. Is it intervention? Is it comfort?
I was joking with a coach and friend this week as I realized that, as I was praying for a new workspace, I was actually praying for a jail cell. My image of a work sanctuary consisted of a desk, chair, window, and a little light. As I began to get clarity on the smallness and ambiguity of my prayer, I started praying into a bigger, more specific vision God had put on my heart.
My dream isn’t to have that little space to crawl away to and hide myself in. Instead, I have dreamed of a space where people can come to experience nature, quiet, and beauty for what feels like forever. The issue is that I have always seen the latter as a long-term dream, but with patience and a bit of eye-opening, I’m realizing that the hopeful scenario may soon become reality.
Step 3: Use Analogies
Psalms, so eloquently, focus on powerful analogies. Green pastures and still waters are the first that comes to mind, but it seems almost every more personal Psalm has a fitting analogy.
Analogies are often our way of drawing the word picture of our experience. Analogies can also be powerful tools when we are in our deepest and darkest moments. Sometimes, life is so dark that our brain doesn’t want to go there. An analogy can be a way of gaining a bit of objectivity, allowing the brain to begin processing—to begin facing reality. In sessions with clients, an analogy can often take them to a deeper level of awareness than they knew existed. This is why journaling is such a powerful tool to get to the bottom of whatever you may be feeling.
Step 4: Speak Truth
Finally, there is the opportunity to echo a God-given truth. There is only one Psalm that ends on a hopeless note: Psalm 88. While there is a beautiful place of melancholy in that space, the hundreds of others end with examples of the realization of God’s faithfulness. They end on a breath of fresh air.
A specific example of this is a simple response to any fear put forward in a coaching session: “What is the truth about this situation?” Sometimes, you get the feeling in the Psalms that the truth of God’s love is hard to grasp in the moment, but we see countless examples in David’s story where God was faithful, and we can look through our own stories and see a similar pattern.
Sharing a Psalm
Often, the idea of doing a creative activity while grieving can seem far-fetched—almost ridiculous. In those cases, going straight to the Psalms can be exactly what you need.
But which one?
Here are seven hand-selected verses of Psalms for the broken-hearted:
Psalm 73:21-26
21 Since my heart was embittered
and my soul deeply wounded,
22 I was stupid and could not understand;
I was like a brute beast in your presence.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you take hold of my right hand.
24 With your counsel you guide me,
and at the end receive me with honor.[a]
25 Whom else have I in the heavens?
None beside you delights me on earth.
26 Though my flesh and my heart fail,
God is the rock of my heart, my portion forever.
Psalm 31:2-9
2 In you, Lord, I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
In your righteousness deliver me;
3 incline your ear to me;
make haste to rescue me!
Be my rock of refuge,
a stronghold to save me.
4 For you are my rock and my fortress;
for your name’s sake lead me and guide me.
5 Free me from the net they have set for me,
for you are my refuge.
6 [a]Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, Lord, God of truth.
7 You hate those who serve worthless idols,
but I trust in the Lord.
8 I will rejoice and be glad in your mercy,
once you have seen my misery,
[and] gotten to know the distress of my soul.
9 You will not abandon me into enemy hands,
but will set my feet in a free and open space.
Psalm 23:1-4
The Lord is my shepherd;[b]
there is nothing I lack.
2 In green pastures he makes me lie down;
to still waters he leads me;
3 he restores my soul.
He guides me along right paths[c]
for the sake of his name.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me;
your rod and your staff comfort me.
Psalm 55:17-19
17 But I will call upon God,
and the Lord will save me.
18 At dusk, dawn, and noon
I will grieve and complain,
and my prayer will be heard.
19 He will redeem my soul in peace
from those who war against me,
though there are many who oppose me.
Psalm 27:4-6
4 One thing I ask of the Lord;
this I seek:
To dwell in the Lord’s house
all the days of my life,
To gaze on the Lord’s beauty,
to visit his temple.
5 For God will hide me in his shelter
in time of trouble,
He will conceal me in the cover of his tent;
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Even now my head is held high
above my enemies on every side!
I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and chant praise to the Lord.
Psalm 16:7-11
7 I bless the Lord who counsels me;
even at night my heart exhorts me.
8 I keep the Lord always before me;
with him at my right hand, I shall never be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad, my soul rejoices;
my body also dwells secure,
10 For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
nor let your devout one see the pit.[e]
11 You will show me the path to life,
abounding joy in your presence,
the delights at your right hand forever.
Psalm 30:12-13
12 You changed my mourning into dancing;
you took off my sackcloth
and clothed me with gladness.
13 So that my glory may praise you
and not be silent.
O Lord, my God,
forever will I give you thanks.
What Psalm is coming to life as you read this? What is the Psalm that speaks to you today? What type of Psalm would you write if you took paper to pen today?