Starting anything big can be a challenge. Starting a journey of healing can be even more challenging.
- But why is it so hard?
- The first step is often scarier than skydiving.
- We want things to be absolutely perfect—and they never are.
- The journey toward your vision seems so long.
If we’re embarking on a healing journey, the barriers pile up! Most of the time, it’s the mental barriers we create for ourselves.
- We say things like:
- “I’m not that bad.”
- “I’m functioning.”
- “I don’t think working on this will create that big of a change.”
- “The timing is just not right.”
I needed a way to get over this way of thinking. And when I found it, I realized it came from an unlikely place.
In 2009, Gwenyth Paltrow launched something called GOOP. When we got the first weekly email, we were terribly disappointed. We were sitting in my office in Union Square in New York City, and my coworkers and I just had this collective sigh, feeling a little embarrassed on Gwyneth’s behalf. It was so simple—almost forgetful. I remember thinking, “I could have written this.”
Love her or hate her, as most of us know, GOOP has turned into a very successful wellness and lifestyle business worth over $250 million. Very quickly, these simple newsletters became products and events. As I saw this simple idea growing, I could see possibility in my own life.
While you might feel stuck from taking the first step on a journey of creating a business, taking the first step toward healing can be the biggest change. It can start with a feeling of being trapped by our own minds and bodies. We feel held back against our will.
Two years earlier, in 2007, when I finally told my parents about my childhood trauma, their response was, “We’ll get you the best help to get you to heal.”
I still remember my response: “Why? What’s wrong with me? I’m fine!”
It took years for me to get to the point where I needed to reach out for help. Eventually, I saw what I was becoming and noticed the need for change.
Here are a few of the behaviors I noticed in myself:
- I started seeing patterns. I responded with a victim mindset to almost any negative experience, placing the blame on others.
- At the time, I was desperate for a lasting romantic relationship, and yet, it seemed like I was ending up with the same, unhealthy relationship. Similarly, I would repel the men who would have been healthy for me.
- Periodically, I found myself reacting to high-stress situations without peace. Categorically, I was responding with grave anger—a guttural anger that scared me.
- As I moved from my 20s into my 30s, still without seeing much change, I had visions for myself but couldn’t seem to make any headway.
- My body was so full of worry. I would lie awake at night feeling completely immobilized.
- Life’s purpose became about work. I was proud of the fact that I slept under my desk at night during high seasons. I was completely unaware of what my body was trying to tell me.
- That time in my life has become synonymous with addictions I couldn’t really see for myself. I was spending money I didn’t have at bars and restaurants that were well outside of my non-profit income.
- I found it hard to maintain relationships. I would just drop people at the sign of any challenge or push-back, especially if there was attention being paid to any unhealthy behavior.
Before I sat down to write this today, I forgot so many of these areas of healing that have shifted through the years. I wonder where I would be if I hadn’t taken that first step.
What are you holding back on starting for yourself? What journey have you delayed? What is the reason?