On Tuesday morning, I had written at the top of my journal, “Show me what it’s like to be victorious in the face of adversity/uncertainty.” I wondered, what does it truly look like to grieve with hope?
A few hours after I wrote this, I met Mrs. Sheila Duncan, my Virginia Dept. of Motor Vehicles administrator. During my previous visit, I was told there was no record of me in the system, and I would have to start from scratch, including a learner’s exam—the same one I took when I was 16 years old. I laughed when I was informed of this and knew God had something in mind. It was too ridiculous not to have a reason behind it.
Sheila embodied the answer. She radiated God’s love from the moment I stepped up the window. We ended up having one of those sweeping conversations that seem almost comical when placed in the midst of bureaucracy.
She told me about the grief surrounding her and how she lives each day with a heart of gratitude because she is blessed with so much. If she allows herself to get down, she knows it will be that much harder to get back up again. So, she doesn’t let adversity knock her down.
But that’s not all. Here was a woman who had experienced dramatic healing from a debilitating tumor a few years prior. Sheila knows what God can do! She lives in that knowledge each day. There is no difference between her disposition when the worst or best happens. She always sings God’s praises.
Through the years, I have seen a marked difference between people grieving with a heart of hope and those grieving in a pit of despair. One of the differences is gratitude.
This word has become so frequent in our world that we can look over its power. Gratitude has the power to transform your current circumstances.
First, let’s look at the trajectory of grieving without hope:
-Having an inward focus
-Experiencing worry
-Feeling slighted
Grieving with hope is different:
-Having an outward focus
-Finding gratitude in the present
-Seeing the beauty around you
-Feeling blessed
This quote from Juliet Brenner’s book “Contemplative Prayer: A Guide to Christian Art and Prayer” is a beautiful testament to the power of looking outward:
“In our frenzied world we so easily miss the fragrance of a flower, the beauty of trees in new growth, or the aroma of fresh bread wafting from a bakery as we rush by. We are barely conscious of the music of a birdsong, of a gentle wind as it brushes our cheek and hair, of the gurgling of a stream or fountain. We fail to attend to the taste of rain on our lips as we run for shelter or of snowflakes gently falling on our faces… Yet God is always present in our lives whether we notice or not.”
What adversity are you facing that needs a touch of victory? What is your default disposition in this season: gratitude or worry? How might gratitude shift the way you grieve?