Recently, I did a little generosity experiment: a 30-day, self-lead challenge to test some of my beliefs (or rather misbeliefs) about generosity. I had gotten to a point where my ideas about generosity felt stale. I knew I needed a good shake at my foundation, and this challenge was exactly what I needed.
THE CHALLENGE
The challenge I gave myself was simple: “Say yes to every opportunity to help or give to someone in need for 30 days.”
When I committed to this, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. Part of me was scared that I wouldn’t have enough to give during the entirety of that period.
What I learned was that the needs were incredibly varied. Suddenly, there was someone in the building that broke their wrist and needed a little help each morning. When the notes came in to bring families meals, I would usually press delete and feel a twinge of guilt, but I started to just say yes to them. There were also little moments of giving, like learning the names of each person we met in the neighbourhood on our morning walks. Or when we told someone about a favorite book the little one is enjoying, we would surprise them with it in the mail the next day, just because.
LET’S TALK ABOUT GENEROSITY – COMMENT BELOW:
“WHAT IS YOUR SECRET TO STAYING GENEROUS IN UNCERTAIN TIMES?”
It wasn’t so much that people voiced needs. It was more like the radar was receiving a tune up.
I noticed, perhaps for the first time this important lesson:
Abundance is very little about how much I had but how much I was willing to share.
THE TWIST
Then, something strange started to happen. It seemed like the more I gave, the more I had to learn how to receive. It was funny how I was so determined to give that I almost had to take a step back to acknowledge what I was receiving.
One fun example:
I created a little outdoor experience at a favourite vineyard (Pippin Hill) for a friend who had just moved from NYC to VA. Lo and behold, I came to discover the winery had given us a free bottle of wine to enjoy. I was caught in my tracks between disbelief and gratitude. And while I didn’t start there, I eventually got to gratitude.
THE SMALL SHIFT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING
The real shift that changed my mind about generosity forever was something so incredibly practical. I almost couldn’t believe the simplicity, and I don’t actually know why I started to do it.
I keep a tight budget for myself, and that’s usually what gets in the way of freely giving. Usually, what I would have done was create a line item of “giving” in my budget. I would get to the end of the month, look at that line item, cringe at how little I gave, and then make a quick bank transfer to my parish or a non-profit.
This month, what I did instead was absorb any costs into my own expenses. Let me explain. If I made a meal for someone, I added it to my line item for groceries. If I was supporting a musical initiative, it went into entertainment. When I gave to my parish, it was added to personal development. Instead of “giving” having its own budget, it meshed into my existing budgets, instead.
You can understand my surprise when I looked at my finances at the end of the month and there was virtually NO difference to my bottom line – even though I was freely and abundantly giving!
THE RESULT
At the end of 30 days, I couldn’t press rewind on my new perspective. Since it was associated with a physical change in my being, it became a part of me. Perhaps the biggest result was a remarkable “level up” in friendships around me. I suppose I was learning long-overdue lessons in friendship.
So, how are you staying generous in these uncertain times?
(comment below)
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Johanna is a mother, adventurer, published author, and founder of Positive Doing – a life-coaching practice focused on women / mothers looking for more flexibility and fulfillment. Download her new ebook here.