One of the biggest strongholds of my life was a mindset that is familiar to many people:
“I’m not good enough.”
I approached this mindset like a wall at so many turns in my life. How many times did people tell me that I just needed to change my mindset? For years, I thought I was thinking differently. However, it’s been a very different approach that has sent my walls crumbling in front of me.
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What do you do when you come to a physical wall in life? If we stand in front of the wall, and in order to pass the, you either have to go around it or figure out how to break it down. Just thinking about moving it won’t make it go anywhere.
Our mindsets are not overcome by our thoughts – they are overcome by our actions.
So, how do we get there?
Here are four steps to help you move in the right direction:
1. Acknowledge the mindset.
If we go through our lives being held back by our walls, then the first thing we need to do is to acknowledge them. If we don’t see them, then we can’t do anything about them.
I know it can be scary to acknowledge a mindset that’s been holding you back. And yet, this fear can take so much energy – sometimes more energy than what it would take to overcome a mindset. We get very comfortable as we’re contained by the walls we have created for ourselves.
As an example, let’s look at the mindset, “I’ll never have enough.” You may experience this mindset every time you think of going on an adventure that you’ve been dreaming about for 20 years. Every few months you have a burst of inspiration. You tell yourself, “I’m going to do it this time, I’m going to make this happen”, and then the mountain of reasons “why not” build up. You’ve convinced yourself you’ll never have enough to live your dream.
Even if you don’t acknowledge the mindset, it’s still there. The only difference is, if you see it – really see it – then you can do something about it. If you just feel it by your inaction or deep fear, then you will continue to live at the base of the wall.
2. Decide what you’re going to do with your mindset.
Now that you see the mindset – now that you’re standing at the base of your very own wall – you need to decide what is necessary to rid it from your life completely.
At the risk of sounding aggressive, do you need to blow up your wall? Is it too tall to climb and too wide to work around? If so, maybe it’s necessary to do something quite bold.
For the “I’ll never have enough” mindset, maybe this is a 21-day financial mindset challenge. Maybe, it’s hiring a new financial planner or making a bold investment decision.
AN IMPORTANT NOTE:
Refrain from thinking too hard about your mindset. Getting in a pondering stage can make you inactive. This step is meant to be a catalyst to leap from, not a place to linger.
3. Gather your resources.
What do you need to make this happen?
I frequently talk about having a dream team on your side – these chosen professionals help you to get where you want to be. I, for one, would never have gotten to where I am without my own coach as part of my dream team.
Think of this as creating your own intervention team. If you know you’re bound to continue to do the same activities and get the same results, then give the activities to someone else who can help you achieve your goals – or help you get there!
A part of why coaching is so effective is because it has a built-in accountability structure. A good coach will play an effective role as an accountability partner. An even better coach will ensure you have created your own accountability structure.
Our greatest resource in tackling our mindsets is time. Tackling your mindset is perhaps the last thing you want to focus on at the beginning, so it’s necessary to carve out the time to get you to the other side of your wall.
Saying you’re going to do something and then not doing it can be incredibly discouraging and will only ensure you stay where you have been for so long.
With our example, especially with a financial mindset, we can often get stuck in the same cycle because we’ve been doing the same tasks our whole lives. Imagine you’re creating an emergency kit for the situation. What do you need to put in there?
4. Take action.
A WINNERS TIP:
The faster you get through items 1 through 3, the better. See how far you can get in a day, or at the most, a week.
Perhaps, for our example, we’ve chosen to start a 21-day challenge to tackle the “I’ll never have enough” mindset. It takes 21 days to break a habit or build a new one. Taking the steps to start and complete a challenge like this can be what is necessary to make a real change, relatively fast.
If you know you are prone to procrastination, you may want to do the thing you like the least first. This is a helpful method to get the ball rolling very quickly.
If you’re a praying person, there is something important to note here: Prayer is action and is powerful. Prayer is different from over-thinking. Often, our prayers lead us to taking big steps we never thought we could do otherwise.
And remember… the only place the grass is really greener is on the other side of that mindset!