The last job interview I participated in was a direct catalyst for my becoming an entrepreneur. What I’ve realised since, is that I was using a narrative in the interview that is extremely common. What transpired was a simple and effective trigger to finding and living my purpose.
I remember sitting across from the interviewer at a very well respected advertising company and said, “I could probably do just about every job in this company, minus, perhaps, accounting.” Yes, perhaps I could do everything given a lot of hard work and some inevitable misfits, but what would that prove and would I really want to do just anything? If I just got any position available, would it feed my sense of fulfillment?
Immediately after I experienced that moment, I remember giggling at the absurdity of what I said. I realised then that something was desperately wrong with my approach. I’m embarrassed to relive that moment now, but I’m glad for the experience. It taught me a valuable lesson that I believe underpins much of the work I do with clients today: Even though you may be able to do many jobs, not all those jobs would bring you joy.
The quote I hear from clients and read most, that’s similar to mine, often is something like this:
“I’ve done so many things, so I know I could do just about anything.”
In a recent conversation, when I asked a gentleman what it feels like to have so many options, he said, “It’s like being in a candy store and only being able to pick one thing.” His voice sounded physically pained. I have a serious sweet tooth, so I can understand (joke). Jokes aside, I know the painful feeling of having too many options all-too-well.
I see where some of this mentality comes from, even with my little one. We have been given a small library of books, and I have to pre-read many of them to check the content. I’m surprised by how many books for very small children today include a line similar to what I hear so often, “You can be anything and do anything.”
It’s unfathomable to me that a little boy who can’t even walk is being trained to think about the outcome of his life in terms of a job to pay his bills.
I like to think that there is a stronger narrative that could help many people sidestep years of confusion. The narrative sounds similar to what I say to my little boy:
“You are uniquely made, and I can’t wait to see what things in life bring you the most joy.”
And often, many of my client conversations have a pin-drop moment that is not far off from that narrative. After some wandering through the wilderness of past experiences and potential options, I simply ask:
“What brings you the most joy?”
At this moment, there is usually either a quick gasp or a sigh as the client sees that there is a clear alternative to the road that they were driving down. I can almost hear the engine slowing down, shifting gears, and making a sharp turn to the realization they needed all along.
The moment that follows is usually a heart crying out through a response that is quick and clear, instead of someone speaking only from their mind. Immediately, after wading into that joy-filled moment with a client, it’s so much fun to then ask, “What action can you take?”
The ideas that are then generated have a life unto their own. The voice is filled with a passion that is a polar opposite from recounting the list of options earlier in the session. Because instead of wading in the water now, they know which destination they want to move toward. These are the moments you feel like you’re along for the ride. I love these moments.
I’ve decided to open up some spots on my schedule for more of these purpose conversations like I accounted above. If you’re interested in having a 45-minute discussion about your purpose – or you know someone who is – please feel free to get on the calendar.