In the past, it was easy for me to look at other people’s lives and wonder if they have something that I should want. There was even a tendency to overlook my own heart’s desires. But the road to matching my life and lifestyle with my values has been marked by discovery and acceptance.
Wherever you are in your life, there seems to be a version of the “I should want this” syndrome. In our teenage years, it might be a piece of clothing, a new tech accessory and then a car. In college our years, it might be an internship or a move to a fabulous new city. Then comes the apartment or home in a neighborhood with mature trees.
On an evening walk with my baby this week, I saw a home with two perfectly matched lamps in the street-facing window. I suddenly had a sharp question – the kind that comes up so quickly they hurt your head – “Isn’t it time you settled down and got the house with matching lamps in the window?” I even imagined the scenarios of lamp purchasing. Like, maybe it was a fantastic find at an antique shop.
It would be too easy to pop into an open house that you fall in love with, visit the bank, and move in, all under a vision of seeming perfect. But after days, weeks, or even months later, the veil of bliss slowly starts to lower and you begin to realize that something in this situation just doesn’t fit.
The dream that comes up most frequently for me is getting on a sailboat for one or more of my little one’s formative years and sailing around the world, learning with each life experience. Thankfully, even at a young age, he already shows signs of being extra inquisitive and adventurous, and we’ve already confirmed that he has sea legs. Who knows where we might end up and for how long? This is the reminder I hold to heart that the lamps I see through a stranger’s window won’t bring me lifelong happiness. Seeing my child not only grow but flourish during formative years is what matters most.
Matching lamps in the window of a house doesn’t match this dream of mine – and that’s okay!
My pinterest board is almost 90% outdoor images. I’m constantly currating my feed so that it will bring me joy whenever I open the app for a momentary brain vacation. It depicts visions of adventures to come. This simple, little online tool completely reflects the things I value most: beauty, joy, and adventure.
I’ve seen what happens when core values are denied – not just for individuals but for businesses alike. For years, I ran value exercises with businesses tailoring projects and processes around these values. So often, when times got rough, these values were tossed aside in the name of profit.
How many years did I give up on my own values – my deepest heart’s desires – in the name of personal financial gain?
It’s a gift to have discovered and finally accept what I value and how that translates into the reality of my life. My greatest adventure will be to help other people reach their own discoveries.